Nicola’s life in the memories of his mother

( translated by Alessia Gioia, Napoli)

The love of a mother for her child, that is already in her womb, is instilled in the child

enriching him of gifts, and this happened with the last one of my children: Nicola.

He was conceived in Alessandria, where my husband worked, and for this reason we called

him Nicola Alessandro.

My husband was perplexed to my desire of a fifth maternity, but I got excited at the thought

of a new child, above all because I felt he would have been a male child and different from

the others.

I remember a particular event. We were in Rocchetta Ligure to spend our holidays and I had a

slight illness. Since the first four pregnancies were exceptional and I had no trouble, I was

very doubtful at the beginning of this new pregnancy: was it a trouble pregnancy or I had a

liver complaint?

A friend advised me to see the midwife of the country and she accompanied me. Because of a

misunderstanding the midwife had believed that I wanted to have an abortion, so she came

with a syringe in her hand. In a flash I understood the situation and I had a strong reaction.

For a long time I had this traumatic feeling of danger for the risk my child had run.

In Rome, the twenty-five March of 1954, that was the feast of Annunciation and my wedding

anniversary, and nine years after the birth of Teresa, Nicola was born.

His birth coincided with the transfer of his father from Alessandria to Frosinone, a city nearer

to Rome where the family lived.

Our joy was complete, the children seemed out of their head because they went up and down

the seven floors of our house, announcing publicly the happy event.

The first six months were difficult for Nicola, because he had difficulty digesting my milk;

then, things were better because I had recourse to bottle-feeding.

Nicola grew well; he was a child with a lively intelligence and from the first years of his life

he was a volitional person with a strong personality.

He loved animals and spent a long time on the balcony to observe the ants; when he was three

or four years old he compelled his father to go to the zoo on Sundays, and every time he got a

new interest in his head for a different animal. When Nicola went back home he always

followed me, imploring me to buy a young lion, a monkey and even a cobra.

Once Nicola went with his father to visit a school in Frusinate. Along the road he saw some

chicks and the owners gave two of them to him. These chicks became soon two nice hens but

the flat owners couldn’t stand the presence of those innocuous hens and Nicola’s parents were

obliged to kill them. How could we hide this event to Nicola? We had recourse to a

stratagem: we told him the hens had been sent to an uncle in Sicily and they waited for Nicola

in summer holidays.

But, after a few days, one of them was brought in the table to be eaten and one of Nicola’s

brothers whispered in Nicola’s ear that it was his hen. So Nicola planted himself in front of

me with his legs apart and with clenched fists said: “Mum if you did this thing you are

cruel!”.

Later on he wanted to buy a little foal that we paid ninety thousand lire and we kept in Palace

Adriano in the gardens of his grandfather. When Nicola saw it, he wanted immediately to ride

it and he was happy because it was his. Unfortunately his uncle was obliged to sell it because

it was a little mad. A propos of the love that Nicola had for animals, skimming through my papers, I have found a letter of 1958, written by one of my children from Sicily to their father

who was in Rome, where wrote textually: “Nicola has asked to take his chicks to Ripi

because they had to be with their mother”. Nicola was only four years old!

The love for animals accompanied him for all his short existence.

He took many photos of the brood of four kittens, that a stray cat gave birth to the door of our

home and we gave it hospitality for a few months!

Once for selfish considerations, I refused to lodge in my house a stray dog that Nicola with

his wife Antonella found in the street and still today I remember the sorrow he had.

His interest in animals was inspired by the love for them, from his desire for knowledge.

Nicola I had taken out a subscription to the “Airone” that dealt with animals from various

points of view.

Near his end, in the period spent at home between a surgery and the other, Nicola watched the

transmissions on TV about the life of animals and he talked about it very enthusiastically.

In the first period of Nicola’s illness, I hinted at God, the creator of those wonders, but it was

for Nicola a taboo subject and I didn’t want to insist.

When he was six years old he became boy scout in the section of Christ the King parish

church.

He spoke to me of the excursions in the countryside, of the life together with the companions,

of his interest for what was new for him. He explained the various knots that could be done

with the rope, and the way to orient oneself in the woods.

I have the profile close at hand that the group leaders realised: “Nice and intelligent

personality, he has a remarkable intellectual quickness, but he is still too much proud and

irascible. We would like to have a greater modesty and comprehension toward the others. His

character is well-shaped and strong, with good qualities of loyalty and impartiality.”

Nicola had a rich voice. He showed a love for singing since he was child. When he was four

years, during a party, where was present his father with other authorities, he performed in

public singing with his clenched fists the song of Modugno ” E piove, piove sul nostro

amor.”

Since he was small was placed on the table and when he ended to sing, started to go around

the table companions asking if he was well-tuned.

When he was a student he joined the choir that the teacher Potenza had organized at the high

school “Giulio Cesare” in Rome, improving his tenor voice.

Soon began his passion for the music. He played the guitar by ear, and since he understood

that it was necessary to know the musical notes, in order to not to load on the family budget

with the lessons, Nicola thought out a clever system: he gave lesson of guitar to children and

with the proceeds he paid his lessons of music.

He began to write songs he set to music and sang with the guitar.

In Turin with his friend Albertazzi, author of books for children, Nicola presented and sang

his three songs in the school: The circus; Alice and the cricket; The liar, the fly and the king.

For this show the Commune of Turin sent him a money order of ninety thousand lire with a

lot of gratifying compliments and wishes.

He wanted a trumpet; his sister Teresa bought it, but he was not able to play it. His great

dream was the grand piano, but he couldn’t realize the dream because of lack of space in his

house.

At the elementary schools he attended with interest the lessons of technical applications.

He realized a wood model of a railway station, so perfect and beautiful, that the teacher didn’t believe that was his work. It was a great insult for him; I remember that I had to go to the

school to convince the teacher that was really Nicola the craftsman; but my son was so

wounded, because they had doubted his word, that he never forgot it.

Since then Nicola revealed a natural inclination for all that was creative, and this particular

aptitude developed when he grew and he became very good in the workmanship of wood, of

iron and of leather.

He was five or six years old when he had the task of illustrating on the forestage parade

children’s models at the Professional institute “A. Diaz” in Rome, that had a fashion

department, and that at the closing of school year organized a display of the performed works

in front of ministerial and Capitoline authorities. Nicola performed this task condescendingly

and pleasantly, winning admiration and praises. Of this performance I keep a beautiful photo.

After the elementary schools, he attended secondary school “Col di Lana” in Rome, studying

with goodwill and diligence. Nothing particular happened during the first and the second

year. I remember only that, during the holidays at Torre Pellice in the province of Turin, (my

husband was local education superintendent) we went for mountain walks, and since to

Nicola had been given by school the following homework: “Impressions about events lived

in summer period”, he began to hatch some small pictures so spontaneous and poetic that

excited our admiration, but above all of his Arts teacher, and at the beginning of the new

school year I was called to her to tell me, touched, that Nicola had been for her a revelation,

he had been like a closed bud that suddenly had opened disclosing an exceptional sensibility.

When Nicola was fourteen years he followed me and his father to Turin.

He was the smallest and needed mainly a guide, the other ones already had a job, and it was

difficult to move the whole family.

In Turin he had trouble settling in, and at school he didn’t get on well with the northern

mentality of his companions. Of that period I remember a meaningful episode of his

intolerance.

His father, to entertain him, gave him the task of tutor in a college in London during summer

months. He had to look after the boys that arrived from Italy to learn English, with advantage

also for him. He was reimbursed of all his expenses with the addition of something for his

small essentials. Nicola stayed just one month.

Did he side with the boys, creating disorders, as told the managers of the college, or he paid

for stealing the girl from his immediate superior that didn’t forgive him, as told us Nicola? Or

both things?

In the meantime his first doubts about the faith started. He asked me a lot of reasons why, but

for fear of mistake I didn’t dare to answer; he told me that he went to the Church only to do

me a favour, but he didn’t feel anything. He would have preferred to be more coherent and to

come back only when he was able to give an answer to his questions. He left definitely the

Church.

Then my anguish began and it was accompanied by a constant prayer, by a supplication of

tears and of sacrifices. Nicola became estranged from me, he protested against me, he refused

me.

He wanted to come back to Rome and live in his environment with his brothers and his

friends; we didn’t succeed in opposing us: we hoped to return as soon as possible too.

I took care to find a priest in Rome for him, to help him in the search of his God; I was

referred to a Jesuit, a learned theologian and a sure guide of young people. But the meeting

was very negative. The priest welcomed him with this question: “How are things with

women?” and Nicola, witty and ironic: “well and you father? ” “Here we are left-wingers” and

Nicola answered: “Ah, yes? me no” and he leaved him standing. He always blamed me with it as if it were through my own fault.

I saw that priest again after many years, next to the end of his life for a tumour; we talked for

a long time of problems of faith; this meeting perhaps was included in the projects of the

divine mercy.

In Rome Nicola enrolled at the secondary school “Giulio Cesare”; he didn’t apply himself a

lot in the study, but all things considered, he didn’t give us excessive worries in that period.

I saw him once a month as the other sons and only for few days, because I had to come back

to Turin to not to leave my husband alone for a long time.

At that time I remember a very important episode that had effect on my Nicola.

In Turin I had gone one Friday to listen to the theatre Carignano, where gave the so-called

“literary Friday” a “revolutionary” lecture on the so much criticized Marxist and Salesia

philosopher and theologian, Father Girardi.

At the end of the lecture, during a party organized in his honour, I was driven, I don’t know by

which divine power, to broach him and I brought pressure to bear on the theme that he talked

about, I was the innocent tool and he was the scholar. It was immediately clear that I had

dared to challenge Satan and that the struggle between me and him was open-faced now; but

in that circumstance I was the strongest.

The day after, when I came back to Rome, I found Nicola very rebel that hurt me in the faith

with blasphemous insinuations towards Jesus. I remember that had a violent reaction and

plainly I told him that if he didn’t stop it he could also go away; he insisted again, but next

day, he confessed that had felt inside him a strength that incited him to hurt me. What

happened?

But Jesus gave me the answer: “you don’t pick on Nicola, because it’s Satan that attacks you,

since you have interfered between him and Father Girardi.”

Then I addressed to Jesus: “If Satan is not able to attack me directly and he attacks me

through my children, we play his game, and so what I have to do? “

And Jesus answers: “ don’t be afraid of God because he is love, don’t be afraid of Satan

because his action is only a sudden reversal, fear the sin only, because it is the unique and

true evil that pushes you away from God and puts you back among the arms of Satan and so

the circle is closed”.

Since then my relationships with Nicola were conditioned by religion, I could not speak about

it, and, if, sometimes it happened indirectly, he was arrogant, destroyer, hostile. He didn’t

know that all this spurred me to a prayer more and more burning, to a grieved invocation, to a

supplication addressed to God also through a lot of souls endear themselves to him.

Finished the three-year period of the secondary school, he enrolled at the university at Law

Faculty.

The first year passed as if he had not done it; Nicola had been attracted by other affairs. The

famous musician, teacher Potenza, had started off him in a job that thrilled him: to put

together the soundtracks of films.

I know that the soundtracks of some films were put together personally by Nicola. However, I

didn’t look favourably upon this activity that distracted him from the study but he threw

himself into it heart and soul, as he had already done with the song and with the music.

Nevertheless, he soon returned to the study and with good results, at the same time he went to

the law firm of the lawyer Oliveti, our flat owner, which was enthusiastic of him.

He told me that, when he sent Nicola to the tribunal for some practices, he was sure that he

would have managed on his own in any difficulties, with his vivacious intelligence and with

his quick instinct.

His father gave to Nicola every month seven thousand lire for his demands, (it was so much for his possibilities) but he didn’t expect money in addition and, to satisfy his necessities,

asked to realize for modest remunerations, some works at home, adapting to be house painter,

upholsterer and so on.

Nicola set up (in business) for oneself to work the leather; he made some shoulder bags,

man’s bag so beautiful and so original to make us surprised. His sisters helped him to sell

bags to their friends. He thought to introduce to the Fair of Milan samples of his works that

liked a lot, and a Japanese firm ordered him 270 travelling bags. But Nicola realized only six

bags: he attained his goal to succeed in this kind of job that he gave up because he now lost

interest in it.

When a new interest stirred his imagination, he threw himself into it heart and soul, ready to

abandon it if something else excited his curiosity and attracted him. One could think he was

an inconstant and fickle nature, but in reality his mainspring was the search and the

affirmation of his self. Nicola succeeded in everything.

He was Margherita‘s darling, our domestic help that worked in our house for 37 years.

I don’t know if that possessive and twisted love has influenced his character, I don’t think so

because since he was child he considered it damaging to his freedom and his personality and

he refused it and so also later during his mature age, but that negative presence was surely

decisive in the relationships between my son and I, a closing that bit by bit became a refusal

and so also towards other children, with a lot of painful consequences. Coming back to that

past years, but with the light of reason of today, it’s for me a great pain; I would like to avoid

it because I would not be lacking in charity toward a soul that is now in Purgatorial and

suffers for the evil caused to me, but above all to my children, but surely I have my guilt too.

Nicola’s life was a continuous challenge with himself: to succeed and to win.

And he also won his last battle, the most serious, the most terrible, but he won because he had

prepared for a long time.

Nicola began to study with Lawrence, an intelligent and willing young man, but above all a

fervent Catholic, son of a high official of the Vatican.

I saw that friendship like a benediction; I thought that the contact with a boy with lofty

religious principles could influence positively his search of God, that, despite the appearance,

it had to be present inside him, and I supposed so because of his continuous approach-refusal

that denoted in his mind that problem existed.

The affirmation of his self, that had characterized all his life, he didn’t reach it towards

Lawrence and the study; they were the first defeats to his pride, because in the subjects they

studied together, of which he thought to have a total command, perhaps superior to his friend,

he always got inferior mark than Lawrence.

He didn’t understand that the channel of the Grace was clogged; Lawrence, with great

humility, exhorted me to pray for him every time he had an exam, while Nicola, contrarily,

mocked the friend. Bit by bit these things acted negatively on Nicola, that became irritable

and disagreeable with Lawrence, causing a great sadness in me. He wasn’t surely under the

benevolent influence of his Guardian angel.

The moment of his last examination arrived, he studied with scruple, I would say with anger,

and here is his challenge to God: “Mum say to your God that I prefer to fail the exam rather

than to owe him something”. While Lawrence: “Madame pray for me.”

He sent shivers down my spine, I prayed Jesus with so much ardour that day, but Nicola

failed the exam, while Lawrence overcame the examination with thirty.

After a few days Jesus made me understand that he wasn’t able to help Nicola, because in his

heart the refusal of God had been total.

He interrupted his studies even if he had to take just four examinations to graduate; he always said that would have resumed the study.

His father, worried about the uncertain perspectives for the future of young people, he thought

to start Nicola a sure job in the bank and he proposed him to a competition announced by San

Paolo Bank of Turin that offered wide possibilities of success. In fact Nicola was successful

and entered in the Bank. He met Antonella that proposed for the same competition and won;

during the apprenticeship period in Turin they fell in love and they decided to get married

within a month: we were amazed and perplexed for a so overhasty decision.

We thought that he was still so young and unprepared for a so important and demanding

decision in the life of everyone. But the love spurred them to do the marriage in record time.

Nicola to make me happy, and only for this reason, decided to get married in the Church.

They told me, then, that went in Turin to the search for a priest very indulgent so that their

confession was only a conversation and this to not give up their principles.

Then the love for my son spurred me to a more constant prayer and only in it I found rest and

relief.

Jesus said: “The marriage was the only road through which I could help you.”

I remember a sentence pronounced by the priest that celebrated their marriage, during the

homily: “I feel that a lot of souls are united with me to call for help and blessing for this

newly-wed couple”.

And it was true. His love for Antonella swept away from his mind every freedom fancies,

every desire of easy adventures. His honest nature prevailed, and it was a happy marriage

indeed.

My husband and I would have desired a little nephew, child of Nicola and Antonella, but we

could not speak about it; they were ensnared in their selfish love and in their hearts there

wasn’t place for a child.

Now I ask: was this a real selfishness? Perpetuating his own being is altruism indeed? I don’t

know; only in the perspective of God children is something marvellous. Just once I heard

Nicola to say that if Antonella had given a child as Helen, Phillip’s daughter, he would have

been happy to become father. What was there in his heart? His sister Teresa had defined him:

a volcano of ideas. And he such was in reality. He thought about a thing and he set down to

work at once to realize it and then he devoted to other things in the making for a long time:

the car, the house at the sea in Sabaudia, the small workshop for his works in iron and in

wood, the boats.

And Nicola changed a lot of boats in a little while! As if he foresaw that had to live in a

hurry, because the time allowed to him was very brief.

Of the relationships with Antonella I know a little; it would be better that she testifies; I lived

at the sidelines of the life of my son so I knew him just a little.

Yes, it’s true, only now Nicola reveals to me in the ups and downs of his character, in his

potential gifts, in his will power, his courage, in all the virtues that found concreteness in his

last battle, but they already were in his being as gift of God, his creator, that manifested, day

after day, up to the final victory.

Since they hadn’t their house in Rome, where both worked, they arranged to live into a bed

sitting room of our residence. Initially I would have desired we applied ourselves to clear an

apartment of our property in Tyrrhenian Street, bigger and therefore more comfortable for

them, but Jesus suggested me: “Hold him next to you”; I now understand the reason.

The nearness of Nicola, often was a cause of pain for his continuous refusal, but in my soul it

increased an incessant push to seek and to invoke the help of God for him, for his happiness. I

didn’t take care of me no more; in the renouncement my love purified. At one time in Nicola’s

life entered the figure of Don Eugenio, a priest driven by a strong fervour of apostolate that become my spiritual leader and started to visit regularly our family.

I have to confess that initially the answers to the various and critical questions that Nicola

asked him, they didn’t seem to me so much orthodox. They clashed with my closed and proud

pragmatism, that gave irritation to my Nicola and in which he saw a good deal of

presumption. I didn’t understand that was essential, especially at the beginning of these

meetings, to establish a link of affinity and confidence between Nicola and Don Eugenio, that

could influence his heart in a positive way.

I didn’t realize that Nicola, to demolish my convictions, set up Don Eugenio against me, so

every his word became a law for him.

Just today I understand that friendship was decisive in his struggle for the final victory. But

God is the true and eternal brain, the Creator who sees in our future and pre-arranges and

guides everything for our good.

I said that of his relationships with his wife I can say very little; certainly they’ve been in love

with each other; he was a little bit jealous and possessive but was constitutionally faithful,

straight and loyal in feelings.

He didn’t want that Antonella came to me because he feared I spoke to her of religion.

I kept silent and I waited confident my time, that was that one of the Lord.

One day Nicola launched me a challenge that’s to say as Teresa, he would have never

returned to God. I accepted the challenge and I wrote it down in a sheet that kept with the date

of January 2nd 1972 but I was sure they would have made return to the faith.

My love for Nicola was a suffering love, it was a thorn: all my prayers were above all for him,

and I solicited also the prayers of the elected souls: the nuns of seclusion of St. Colombano,

the Dorothea nuns in Rome, sister Lucy of Lourdes and so many others that I involved in my

anxiety.

Jesus had promised that each holy desire would have been fulfilled, and my holy desires

embraced all my children, my nephews, my brothers but the desire about Nicola dominated

over the others.

Nicola began to be ill in November 1984;

A family doctor, Mr Felici, said it was colitis, and he treated such illness, but Nicola grew

thin rapidly. We thought it was because he ate little and wrongly as a result of his job in the

bank.

In a mumble I told him to be seen by the doctor Data, a specialist in internal diseases, but

Nicola refused, finding a lot of excuses; in reality he didn’t desire interferences.

Finally on February 16

th

1985 he decided to consult doctor Data and from that moment began

his and our tragedy.

I think that at the beginning we family have suffered the blow with the reality, in all it

rawness; but when Nicola started to be aware of the gravity of his ill? When did he knowingly

begin to drink the bitter cup?

Since the first moment he showed an exceptional stoicism and courage, not a complaint, not a

reproach, an absolute respect for other people’s pain, for the job of nurses, the appreciation for

doctors, even if they were wrong; to each contrariety he opposed an admirable meekness and

resignation.

In the first phase of his illness, in the long sleepless nights spent in hospital, what took shape

in his mind? Through the contact with the pain, bit by bit his Ego disappeared, he started to

make comparisons between the love and the generosity of the others and himself.

Two Antonella’s friends, Frank and Aldo, every day from 11.00 to 12 o’clock, the break of

their job, went to visit him and gave him some expensive magazines and gifts. Nicola with courage and humility said them: “ I must tell you that I would never have done what you are

doing for me.”

Sister Lucy had informed me that the constant work of Grace in Nicola’s soul was

exceptional, but also his sufferings were exceptional.

Don Eugenio went to visit him three times: last time Nicola wanted to confess his sins, but I

knew it later. He had begged his wife and Don Eugenio not to tell me anything.

Once he only said: “You know, mother, I had made an agreement with Jesus, I had promised

a thing, but He hasn’t accepted my offer.”

So joking I told him: “Do you want that God comes to terms with you?”. He didn’t answer.

Perhaps after the second intervention, he told me: “Mother, after Jesus’ refusal to accept my

offer, I didn’t draw back and I promised the maximum I could give, more than that I couldn’t

because I would have injured Antonella’s rights. I can’t tell you because I cannot confess to

you.

Can you understand what I have felt when I waked up after the second intervention and have

still found the plastic bag? “.

I tried to comfort him, telling that new techniques would have made him overcome that

difficulty, but in reality I was blindfolded and wasn’t able to sink into the abyss of pain of that

tortured heart.

We thought that he didn’t know about the extreme gravity of his sickness, so close to his

bedside we pretended to be serene, while he hid his pain in order to not make us understand

that he knew the truth.

I would like to remember every word of Nicola: “Mother, I believed in God, but I rebelled to

your insistence, because I didn’t want to do the same with Teresa.”

“Nicola God is powerful”. “Yes, mother, God is powerful! “.

“Nicola, God is love”. “Yes mother, God is love.”

A morning he said: “Mother, C… is a beautiful soul, but A…. is a demon, he caused me the

fistula in the loop of my intestine”. “I already knew it, Nicola! “. I answered

Don Gernio, an illuminated priest, told me some time before.

One day, worried for the course of his illness, and overcame with the pain for a very difficult

situation with no way out, I tried to ask for information to the professor that had operated him

getting ahead of the young doctor that cured Nicola.

For Nicola this was a lack of trust towards the doctor he was fond of him. He was sorry for

that thing and prohibited me to phone other doctors because he didn’t want to show him in a

bad light since he considered him a friend.

He was sensitive toward the doctors, the nurses, but above all toward the other patients. He

didn’t think about himself anymore, about his suffering, but only to the others’ pain.

One day he said to Antonella: “ I want to change all my life, I will become the apostle of the

hospitals, to console the patients and to sustain the nurses in their hard job, do you come with

me? isn’t it?” We will bring the syringes that always miss.”

Another day: “Will you come in Church with me?”

Then: “Antonella, I want to give you a gift, not a fur, because you don’t wear it; nor a gold

object because you have promised that you won’t use it more; I want to make you a symbolic

gift: a flame that can always burn, a flame of love.”

Which heights Nicola started to reach to?

What did he think in his mind in the long sleepless nights, in that bed of pain, with five or six

tubes that prevented him any movement, with the fever over forty degrees, in a sweat, with

that hot weather that made us impatient and frustrated?

To which renouncement he was achieved? to which actions of authentic heroism? Surely with Jesus and with the Celestial Mother he had established long and silent interviews that allowed

him of hide his immense pain under a sad smile, that allowed him in the mornings to offer

almost with joy, to the doctor’s work for inside medications, that were painful, without

anaesthesia, lasted even three hours, while his poor body was opened and stitched up as if it

was an object.

Nicola was a true victim that offered himself like a host every morning and every day. The

nurses called him “the Saint”, since he never had a complaint, a gesture of impatience, had

become docile and sweet, his face had gained the transparency of Christ.

One day Nicola said: “Mother, at the beginning of October, dad and you have to go to

Cagliari where Teresa lives, by plane or ship doesn’t matter, you have to speak to her for a

long time to eliminate misunderstandings and incomprehension.

I had to go with Antonella, but now you have to go, promise it to me.”

Why didn’t I ask to myself and then to him the reason he couldn’t go there? and why at the

beginning of October? Did he already realize his end?

He told me that with his pain he was redeeming all of us, also his relatives and friends. I

asked him: “Luigi too?” He answers: “Also Luigi? “. I tell him: “Don’t you think that his soul

costs the death of Jesus in the cross? “. He doesn’t answer.

One day he turned to me with these words: “mother, how many sins you have!” I answered:

“Nicò, you think this of your mother?”.

Another day, I was at the feet of his bed and felt apostrophize: “Oh mum you are beautiful”. It

was a cry of love that I had never heard by him and my other children and that was strange to

my ears because it was so much far in my memories of mother!

Nicola started to be aware of my presence of mother in his life.

I remember that one evening, looking at his father that stopped thoughtful at his bedside,

Nicola took his hand, brought it to his lips and kissed it with tenderness.

It was a silent way to express his thankfulness, his filial love. This episode inspired my

husband to write some touching verses.

Meanwhile the days followed one upon the other, our soul was tense like a drum; we were all

waiting for the realization of the divine will that we believed had to culminate in a sensational

miracle: his recovery; we didn’t realize that, on the contrary, Nicola was dying. He died at

11,15 of August 28 th 1985.